Big Butt Road Trip __exclusive__ -

If you are planning a trip for those with ample behinds, do not listen to the “ergonomic” racing seat people. You want a flat bench, or a couch on wheels. We should have rented a 1970s Cadillac. Instead, we made it work with pillows. The Snack Situation (A Delicate Balance) A road trip requires snacks. But a big butt road trip requires strategy. You cannot eat a whole bag of Cheetos and a gas station hot dog without consequences. The consequence, in a cramped car, is that you become a human space heater.

Spoiler alert: No. But we had a blast trying. It started as a complaint. My wife, Lisa, slid into the passenger seat of my 2018 Honda Fit and immediately yelped. “These bolsters are digging into my glutes like a pair of angry salad tongs.” big butt road trip

The sensible choice was to fly. But the fun choice was to turn our wide-load anxiety into a manifesto. We invited my brother-in-law, Dave (6’4”, 280 lbs, affectionately known as “The Lovable Fridge”), and the Big Butt Road Trip was born. Our first stop wasn’t a gas station—it was an auto parts store in Harrisburg. We bought three things: a gel-infused memory foam cushion for Dave in the back, a “purple” honeycomb seat cover for Lisa up front, and a seatbelt extender for me (no shame in the game). If you are planning a trip for those

There is something deeply bonding about sharing the specific, low-grade misery of not fitting into the world’s default dimensions. We complained. We adjusted. We ate too much. And somewhere around the 800-mile mark, we stopped thinking about our butts and started thinking about the sky, the music, and the asphalt rolling by. Instead, we made it work with pillows

4 out of 5 stars. (Deducted one star because the Honda Fit’s cup holders are a crime against humanity. Added one star for the sheer joy of ordering a T-shirt that reads “I Survived the Big Butt Road Trip.”)