Retro Bowl Onion |work| -

The second half was a disaster. On the first play, Barry took the handoff, but as he cut left, a single tear blurred his vision. He fumbled. The onion, still undigested, gurgled in his gut like a dying dial-up modem. The opposing team—who had smuggled in a case of hidden ranch dressing—scored 21 unanswered points.

Within minutes, the locker room became a portrait of suffering. The quarterback tried to hide his onion inside his helmet, but the stench clung to his gloves. The kicker, a delicate soul, simply held his onion and sobbed. Coach Spuf watched as his star wide receiver bit into the onion like an apple, shuddered violently, and then curled into a fetal position. retro bowl onion

In the post-game interview, a reporter asked Coach Spud the secret to his success. The second half was a disaster