Coupons | Squirt

I consider myself a pretty savvy internet shopper. I have a separate email address just for loyalty programs. I know how to stack discounts at the grocery store. I’ve even successfully used a “30% off your first order” code for a pizza chain three times using different Gmail periods.

Immediately types ‘urban dictionary squirt’ into a private browser tab. squirt coupons

“Oh, nice! Squirt is that citrus soda. The grapefruit one. That stuff is great with a shot of vodka or just on a hot day. I wonder if it’s for the 12-pack or the 2-liter bottles?” I consider myself a pretty savvy internet shopper

The coupon read: “Buy 2 Get 1 Free. Valid at participating gas stations. Not valid for cash value.” I’ve even successfully used a “30% off your

So, when I woke up this morning and saw an email with the subject line: — my brain did a double-take.

Here is where the internet breaks your brain into two distinct hemispheres:

P.S. If you actually Google “squirt coupons” right now, you will get soda discounts on page one and therapy recommendations on page two. You have been warned. This is a work of satire. No bodily fluids were exchanged in the making of this blog post. Please drink responsibly.